The expression “Everything happens for a reason” can be irritating, especially when you think of all the suffering that’s happening around the world. But every action has a reaction and taking the time to evaluate how you arrived where you are now, brings clarity and purpose to your life.
I haven’t been feeling myself, but I didn't notice. It didn’t occur to me that something was wrong, not even when my stomach started acting up. I just ignored it. I tried drowning myself in medication, but months later and my symptoms were still there.
It wasn’t until a few weeks ago after an incident at work that it hit me. I started crying uncontrollably and couldn’t find my breath. And it's true, we take our breath for granted until we need it. My first panic attack in life left me shocked and disappointed. I’m spiritually in tune, how did I travel so far on this path without recognizing the signs? How did I lose my fire for living and loving without noticing?
When I woke up the next day, I felt numb. I said, “This feels like a bad breakup.” It's funny how things happen. I didn't realize that I hadn't been checking in with myself. When I did, I discovered that I'd lost my appetite for life.
There’d been no sex, no romance, no passion for passion. I had my head down working and waiting. What was I waiting for? Locked away at home alone, I was waiting for adventures, lovers and fun to find me?
I was using the cute term “Hermitting” to describe my love of being alone like a hermit, which is okay, except what I was doing was hiding. Companionship, intimacy and love are beautiful and designed for everyone. The story I was telling myself was a lie and born from pain, and you can't heal if you're lying to yourself. You can't heal if you're hiding from yourself and your fears.
COVID-19’s imposed isolation is challenging everyone, but it's a good time for mending. I hope your time alone is meaningful. I read somewhere, “If you can’t go outside, then go inside yourself.”
Make the time to meditate, purge thoughts and beliefs that are no longer serving you. Make the time to count your blessings and write new affirmations. Create vision boards and spend time daydreaming about all the things you want to see in your life. Then make plans and get excited about it.
I spent a lot of time with my Emerald and Rose quartz healing my emotional body. But today, I woke up thinking about Carnelian with an overwhelming need to share this story (the Universe pushing me to slow dance with vulnerability).
We could all use some Carnelian fire right now. If you're in slump, let’s commit to doing things that make us feel alive. Let’s use this time to heat things up from our Root to the Sacral to the Solar Plexus!